


Bits of Happiness

by Readerofallanimefanfic1



Series: Haikyuu: Pain of life [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Fluff, Happy moments - Freeform, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kenma couldn't handle it, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Some OOC, Suicide, Tooru is a good big brother, every chapter has different pov, everyone dies but their okay with that, everyone is hurting, only because they're younger, so is Hajme, there is fluff, this is angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerofallanimefanfic1/pseuds/Readerofallanimefanfic1
Summary: Three brothers have a life of pain and hurt but they still look for the bits of happiness.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou & Sawamura Daichi, Iwaizumi & Kozume Kenma, Iwaizumi Hajime & Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama & Kenma, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma & Yaku Morisuke, Kuroo Tetsurou & Yaku Morisuke, Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi & Sugawara Koushi
Series: Haikyuu: Pain of life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043934
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. The End as the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Please look at the tags they are true to their words.

In the beginning there were three of us: me, Hajime-nii-san and Tobio-chan. Brothers if you can believe it; all of us are very different with nothing alike except for our late father (the bastard). 

First it’s Hajime-nii-san (although I like to call him Iwa-chan). He’s a couple centimeters shorter than me with a bigger build, even though it’s completely unfair and we’ve both haven’t eaten in the same amount of time. He had green eyes and dark brown spiky hair (if you look at it long enough). He also had a lot of battle scars on him. Each one had a memory and a story he’ll tell us at night when Tobio-chan was scared (but sometimes he won’t tell us what happens and make something up. Tobio can’t tell but I can). Iwa-chan was our protector and did everything he could to keep us safe.

Next is little Tobio-chan who is 3 years younger than me and 4 years younger than Iwa-chan. He had jet black hair and round doe eyes, blue like the ocean (we’ve seen it before me and Iwa-chan but of course it’s Tobio-chan who can carry it without even knowing it). Tobio-chan was way shorter than the two of us, skinny and scrawny (very boney too). He could run fast and get us out of trouble if we need to make up some pity story so I’d give him that. He had a lot more scars than the both of us only because the bastard decided that it was okay to use him as a punching bag. 

Lastly is me, Tooru (Iwa-chan meanly calls me Crappykawa sometimes). I’ve been told I have chestnut brown hair matching my eyes. I didn’t have many scars on my body because I was told I was  _ ‘too beautiful’ _ so I have scars in other places. I was kinda lanky with a whole bunch of dirt caked all over my body (even though we all do) and this weird scar on my chest not even Iwa-chan knows where it came from. I was the brains of our operation being the only one who's been to school more than once (again no scars). I usually was the one that chooses our new home for the week and places should have the best leftovers in the trash.

**Twelve Hours ago**

“Tooru-nii-san did you find a place last night?” I roll my eyes of course the little pest bothers me an hour after I come back when I’ve been out all night.

“Leave him alone Tobio he might still be tired from last night. What if I told you a story instead?” Thank goodness Iwa-chan to the rescue.

“Sure can I pick?” 

“Anyone you want,” Iwa-chan says with a smile. Then he shifts to take off his tattered shirt broadcasting the scars from many battles. If it was me I’d choose the lightning shaped one but knowing Tobio he will chose:

“The four scars, please,” it’s his favorite for some reason. 

“Alright four scars it is.” The two snuggle close, Iwa-cha reaching his hand down to rub my head as he starts his story.

“This scar is from the week 2 moon cycles ago. The first night in the Nara sector we were all resting together. Tooru heard a noise.” 

““Did you hear that Iwa-chan?”” He says to mock my voice while Tobio-chan chuckles at the attempt. The pest.

““No Crappykawa go to sleep.””

““Fine,”” he huffed and all was quiet again or so we thought until a loud shriek by no other then our Oikawa Tooru pierced through the night jolting me awake.” Now Tobio busts into a fit of giggles. Just at the thought of me screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Wait why didn’t I make up?” He says in fits.

“You were always a deep sleeper, probably another thing you got from your mom.” I tell him as I grumble over to my otherside. His laughing stops at the mention of his mom and Iwa-chan stops rubbing my hair. His mom has always been a nono topic only because that was the main reason why he was hit the most.

“You didn’t have to say that Tooru.” Hajime scolds.

“Why not, it’s true isn’t it? He’s a walking image of her except his hair is short.” I nearly shouted.

“That doesn’t mean anything, we don’t talk about our moms that’s the rule you know this.” Hajime says angrily.

“Why? I had no problem with my mom,” I should stop. “Yours is the one that left and Tobio’s mom is dead,” this is mean. “If anything I should be able to talk about my mom. She didn’t leave dad or this earth! I could go find her and leave you two she’d be happy to see me! She wanted me!” No I don’t mean that. Why did I say that?

“If she wanted you so bad, why didn’t she come back for you, huh? Why didn’t she save you if she loved you much!?” After the words leave his mouth he freezes and guilt covers his face. He didn’t mean it but it’s true, that’s why it hurts so bad. It’s silent now except for Tobio-chan’s sobs in the corner.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t Hajime. It’s fine cuz it’s true that’s all.” I sigh, looking at a shaken Tobio in the corner with his shoulders hunched over and his head hidden in his knees. I brake at the sight. No matter how much of a little annoying pest he is I never like to see him broken.

I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder as I crouch down to his level. He jumps and flinches away from my touch but won’t let him go. 

“Please don’t leave. I’m sorry.” I look behind me to look at Iwa-chan. He’s farther away from us with tears in his eyes he refuses to let fall. He’s watching us still in protective stands. 

“Come Tobio-chan I could never leave you two.”

“Then why did you say you’d leave?” He says as I wrap him into a hug and motion for Iwa-chan to join us.

“Because sometimes when people hurt they want to make others hurt so they’re not the only ones in pain.”

“Oh,” then he looks at Hajime-nii-san who's made his way over towards me and then back at me and smiles.

“What’s the smile for?” Iwa-chan askes as he let’s go of a few tears. 

“Sometimes when people are happy they want to make others smile so they’re not the only ones happy.” Just like that the mood changed. Iwa-chan chuckled and I ruffled his hair.

For the rest of the night we were happy. Iwa-chan told us stories about scars and some things even I’ve never seen. He talked about birthdays and Christmases that I didn’t didn’t remember. Or random parties that me and Tobio’s mom used to throw when they were still friends.

After a while we fall asleep. We need rest for tonight if we’re going to scavenge the place I found later at night.

**At the back of the restaurant**

“Look Tobio, it's easy, they already threw out the trash so all you have to do is check food and if you find anything, call us over. Once we get enough food to last us the next couple of days we take the back alley and run.” He looks at me hesitantly but nods.

“You’ve done this before Tobio so there’s nothing to worry about.” Hajime says to comfort him.

“Alright. I can do this.” Tobio says as a whisper mostly to himself before scurries in the back searches the trash. It takes a couple minutes but sooner or later we receive the signal from Tobio and head in the alley after him.

“I found bread.” He says in an excited whisper. With a smile on his face Hajime ruffles his hair. “Good job Tobio. Now let's keep searching.” 

We move like clock wards; having to do this so long we’re in great enough to sync with each other. By the time we’re done we’ve each found two half loaves of bread and some old rice. This should last us 3 days if we ration it correctly.

“Good lets go.” Hajime tells us and we speed down the alley with Tobio shortly behind us. _ We’re home free, _ we thought. Were wrong, very wrong. Tobio trips over a pile of wood in the alley and falls over. Of course we went back to help him but one of the store owners caught us. The light from the store blinds us and the warmth from where we stand comforts us but we can’t stay. We have to leave including since we got caught. 

We pick up Tobio and run, he limps in behind us probably with a sprained ankle but we’ll worry about it later.

“The food,” he calls out to us.

“We come back for it later, just run!” Hajime calls behind us and that’s when we hear it.

_ Click click. _ The sound of a shotgun behind us then the shot. 

_ Bang. _ The sound rings through my ears and I almost don’t hear it. The agonizing scream. I checked, it wasn’t Iwa-chan. As we run our eyes lock; if it wasn’t us then. Tobio! 

We look behind us and there he is limping, shot in his chest, his hands doing a feeble job covering his wound. Without thinking we ran back towards him. Once in both our hands he lets out a pain driven sob.

“It-it hurts,” he chokes out and Hajime shushes him. 

“Don’t say anything not yet. Wait till we get-”

_ Bang!  _

Another shot races through the alley missing us completely. As we run I feel wetness fall on my shoulder. Then as I look up I realize that the dark sky has clouds; like the heavens have pity on us it rains as if it’s crying. 

“We need to stop.” Iwa-chan yells to me over the rain; that’s sobbing now.

“No we can’t we have to keep running and get to out of this alley, to the street then we can-” 

“No. No, Tooru we can’t wait that long. Tobio can’t wait that long we have to stop the bleeding first.” We stop when we think we’re far enough and set Tobio-chan up against the wall.

“A-am I going to die. I don’t-” He coughs red; no it’s blood.

“Damn it.” Hajime curses from behind me. “Look you're not going to die. Your... you're going to be fine, alright? We just have to stop the bleeding, alright? We can do that.” I frantically check everywhere but all I see is red. The bullet went straight through blood gushing out everywhere, his mouth, his back, his chest. I don’t know where to put my hand, where it would help, it all seems too much. 

“Everything hurts. Please make it stop.” Tobio says, tears falling out of his round doe eyes.

“Hey. Hey don’t worry about that okay.” Hajime says as he crouches down next to me his voice betraying the smile he tries to put on his face. “Look at me and breathe you’re okay. Just smile alright? Tell me why you smile.” He says voice cracking.

“Be-because when I’m happy I want to make others smile so I’m not the only one happy.” He stutters out as he cracks a grin, his once white teeth stained with red blood.

“There we go. Now you made me and Iwa-chan happy.” I tell him and Hajime shifts to the other side next to him, hugging his body over my arms. We can’t do anything. Hajime knows this, I know this and Tobio starts to when he cries harder. 

“It’s okay Tobio. If you're tired, close your eyes. When you wake up, wait for us okay?” Hajime told him his voice cracked and knowing what he meant I started crying. Or maybe I already was and didn’t notice with the rain. 

“Yeah Tobio-chan just go to sleep a-and when you wake up wait for us to get there then we can be happy. All three of us together and it will be different.”

“H-how?” 

“Well for one thing we won’t have to dig in the trash for food. And we can have all the parties we want just like what Iwa-chan would tell us in the stories. We can even finally take you to the beach like we promised you all those years ago.” This seems to put a smile on his face even though it’s clearly weak.

“Lean on me and close your eyes. Just don’t forget to wait for us.” 

“I won’t promise.” The loud stomps of the store owner get closer then it will be me and Iwa’s turn soon but we have to let go of Tobio first. He slowly closes his eyes and his heaving chest slows.

“I love you, Hajime-nii-san, Tooru-nii-san.” He whispers and it stops. The blood rushing from his wounds, the heaving in chest. Even his muscles relax and the tight hold he had on our hands falters.

“We love you too.” We whisper as two more shots echo in the alley. It hits me this time I’m sure, but I’m not sure where. For me it’s quick not like Tobio-chan’s, it kinda makes me angry that he suffered and I didn’t. But it does hurt though, more like an intense burning before it stops completely.

When I wake it’s bright and I hear waves crashing behind me. I look over to my side and Hajime is staring at me expectantly.

“Are we-” He nods.

“And Tobio-chan?” He shuffles around and points to Tobio playing in the sand with others behind us. While a woman with long jet black hair watches them.

“Is that Tobio’s mom?” 

“Yeah, she um- said she was there to greet him when he woke. Even when he told her that he had to wait for us before we leave. But then she told me we don’t have to leave that this is where we belong.”

“And the others?”

“Some of our friends: Kenma, Hinata, Sugawara, Daichi, Akaashi, Bokuto, Akiteru, Kei and Tadashi.”

“I’m glad Kuroo, Yaku and Lev survived.” Hajime nods. “They look a lot happier here than they did before.”

“Yeah.” He sighs out. Again we sit in silence as we watch Tobio play with Kenma, Hinata and Bokuto in the distance. While Suga-chan and Akaashi read to the others. Soon Tobio pauses and looks towards us and tears flood his eyes the moment he sets eyes on me. He runs faster than he did before until he smashes into me giving me a hug.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to leave us.”

“I didn’t. I was just late, that's all.” I say gently rubbing his hair.

“Well don’t do it again. You promised.”

“I know it won't happen again. But you wanna know another thing I promised?”

“What?” He says excitedly.

“The beach. How do you like it?”

“I love it, and mommy told me our eyes are the same color as it and it was because blue eyes were passed down in our family.” I look up at the ocean then back at Tobio’s eyes.

“You know what I think she’s right.”

“You wanna know the best part about this?”

“What?” 

“We all have mommies now.”

“We-we do?” 

“Yup she said she’ll take care of all of us. She’ll love us and cook for us and everything else a mommy does even when the rest of our friends come she’ll welcome them.” I look at Iwa-chan for confirmation. He nods with a slight smile, then so do I. Finally we have it. Everything we’ve ever wanted. 

The dirt caked all over our body is gone. We aren’t at our stunted growth any more and finally look our ages: 13, 12, and 9. Our scars are gone now except for our last ones that now look like birthmarks on our chest, face and thigh. We can finally be fully happy now and enjoy an eternity of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have many things to address about this story so I hope to make this quick.
> 
> 1\. This story purposely starts with the end and then it goes chronologically
> 
> 2\. Again this story has a lot of dark themes and stays true to the tags so if this isn't your cup of tea please drop now
> 
> 3\. As much as I would like to this story will not be updated as much as the my first. It is most likely to happen in between updates and other projects that I'm working on
> 
> 4\. Lastly as dark as it may seem the story is called 'Bits of Happiness' so not all darkness and gloom.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy reading :)


	2. Applesauce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys age:  
> Hajime: 4  
> Tooru: 3  
> Tobio: 3 months

I think Tobio’s mom leaving was the last straw. She was sick a lot after Tobio was born and no one would tell us what happened. It was more like magic, one day she was here the next day she wasn’t. Tooru asked me where’d she go but I couldn’t tell him not when I didn’t know myself. So I told him she went to the beach again without us, he cried saying it wasn’t fair but quickly stopped when dad yelled at him. I don’t know why she left though, if she was sick dad and I could have helped her feel better like she did for me and Tooru. 

Tooru wadles up to me tugging on my shirt, “why is Tobio-chan so loud Iwa-chan, and when is mommy coming home from the beash?”

“Beach,” I correct, “and I don’t know but we can check on Tobio to see if he’s okay.” I offer him a smile and he gives me a wide toothy one in return. Together we walk quickly past our parents room and into the babies room where Tobio is.

“Why is he cwying, Iwa-chan?”

“Crying; and I don’t know, maybe he’s hungry. I‘ll go tell dad you can try to keep him quiet.” I ran off to look for our dad and find him sleeping on his seat in the living room.

“Daddy... Daddy,” I shake him harshly until he blinks awake.

“What is it boy and why is that thing yelling up stairs?”

“He’s hungry but mommy’s not here to feed him when do you think she’s coming home?”

His scowl turns into an evil stare. “She ain’t comin’ home. She ain’t ever comin home because that damn brat upstairs killed her. He made her sick,” he leans his face closer to mine as he talks, his breath burns and smells like the brown liquid mommy used to keep in the shine glass bottle in the ‘don’t touch cabinet.’ 

“She wanted to keep that parasite and it killed her. She was too weak and I took her to the hospital to die. So that monster can die too, now leave me alone, boy.” He says in a warning tone pushes me off his arm and turns away. He couldn’t mean all those things about mommy and Tobio, and he clearly is a monster or a para- whatever he said and mommy said she’d come back so she can’t be dead. I get up and head up the stairs. We must have something to feed him.

“Tooru we have to get Tobio down stairs so we can get him something to eat.” I say as I reach into the crib, but I can’t reach him; this might be harder than I thought. 

“What ‘bout mommy you said she was at the beash.” Tooru pouts sticking his lips out.

“Beach Tooru, it’s beach,” I stress the -ch part. “Mommy might not be coming back so it will be just like how it was before just the two of us but we’re adding one more, and don’t pull out your lips they might get stuck like that.”

“But if it’s back like before, then does that mean that daddy is going to mean again?”

“Well it could mean that but I don’t thinks so but the only thing we need to worry about right now is getting Tobio out so we can feed him.”

“What do babies eat anyways?”

“Soft things duh, Dummykawa.”

“Don’t say mean words Iwa-chan they hurt.”

“Fine but you find another way to get Tobio out, I’ll get him some... applesauce.”

“No, that's mine, not his, don't give it to him!” He yells and I smash my hands on his mouth to shush him.

“You have to be quiet or daddy will wake up. We don’t want that to happen, nod if you understand.” He nods. “Good.” I bring my hands down from his mouth and walk away. I have to hurry if we’re going to feed Tobio. Heading back down the stairs I run to the refrigerator and grab the applesauce with a spoon and head back up stairs.  
When I get there I watch in horror as Tooru falls backward on the stool with Tobio fussing in his arms. “Wait stop it you’ll make me fall.” Before I knew it I rushed over to catch my brothers, I couldn’t let them fall and make more noise Tobio only just started to stop crying.

“Yay you caught us.” Tooru giggles and I frown. 

“That was close. You need to be more careful you almost dropped Tobio.”

“Sorry.” Tooru puts up a little peace sign and sticks his tongue out in a stupid face.

“Don’t do that or bugs will land on your tongue.” I flick forehead and he pouts.

“Alright fine Iwa-chan let’s just feed the baby.” That’s what we forgot. 

“Here make him sit up. I have it right here.” Finally after who knows how long we were able to feed Tobio. It was hard at first Tobio wouldn’t open his mouth for anything, but then when Tooru tickled him and shoved a spoonful in his mouth. He seemed to like it after and ate the whole thing.

“Well now what?”

“We go to sleep, there's nothing else to do.” 

“Can play ball today? You said we would.” 

“We don’t wanna make daddy mad so not today.” Tooru’s face mushes sadly but I think he understands. He always understands, like when I tell him not to move in bed or when we have to be very quiet in the closet when mommy is hiding us. He does it without a question. I’m glad because even if he had one I wouldn't be able to answer them.

“You know what? We may not be able to play ball but do you want to hear a story before we go to bed?”

“Yay bedtime story.”

“Okay cuddle close and hey- don’t cover Tobio he won’t be able to breathe if you do that.” After fixing the blanket so we all can breathe I tell the two of them a story. It was one mommy used to tell us about her blue eyes and why Tobio would have it too. “To carry the gift of where we came from” she always told us and I used to think it was amazing. She carried the ocean in her eyes and she gave it to Tobio.  
After the story we fall asleep even Tobio went to sleep without a problem. Until there was one; Tobio was gone.

“Tooru... Tooru wake up, Tobio’s gone.”

“Gone wheres?” He says sitting up

“Where, no ‘s’; and I don’t know he wasn't in my lap when woke-” It was daddy, that means Tobio is not safe. “Tooru closet, now.”

“What? Why, is Tobio in the closet?” Now he asks questions.

“I’ll tell you later but now you need to go in the closet and stay quiet.” I grab the blanket we were sleeping in and push Tooru towards our hide closet. “Don’t move, don’t speak and don’t leave the closet.” When I finish I close the door. I can’t let Tooru see what dad might be doing or be there if he does something bad. 

Checked everywhere but they were not in the house. I feel angry tears burn my eyes. I can’t believe I lost him. Even when mommy told me to protect him I couldn’t. I shouldn’t give but what can I- 

“You brat!” That was daddy, he must be outside. I run to the back door and daddy’s leaving Tobio outside.

“Hajime go back inside and leave him there.”

“Daddy we can’t mommy wouldn’t want-” 

“How would you know what she wants? She's DEAD boy. For all we know she could be cursing him in her grave.” He walks over to me and harshly grabs my arm dragging me inside.

“Where’s your brother.” He spits.

“Outside! Daddy let go! You can’t leave him-”

Slap. I grab my cheek, it burns. Daddy hasn't hit me in a while, so I guess Tooru was right maybe he really might start being mean again which means it’s not safe for Tooru to come out yet. “Drop it. I’m not going back outside and neither are you. Now go get Tooru and come back downstairs for food.” It’s not safe, I can’t. “He’s sleeping right now he can eat later.”  
“If he does he better not bother me about it.”

“He won’t.” After a harsh tug on my arm he tosses me a bag of chips saying it was dinner. I had to pretend I didn’t hear Tobio crying outside, anytime I’d mention it, it would earn me a slap in the face. I could only take it for so long. I’ll just have to wait for him to fall asleep then. When I finished my chips (after sneaking some for Tooru) I headed back upstairs and waited for our dad to fall asleep. Once I’m sure he’s asleep I open the door.

“Did you find Tobio?”

“Yeah he’s outside.” 

“Why is he outside? Did you leaf him? Why didn’t you get him first.” He’s angry I can tell but I needed to check on him first.

“It’s leave Tooru not ‘leaf.’ And I didn’t leave him on purpose daddy was there so I couldn’t get to him. I told him you were sleeping so stay here and stay quiet, lock the door and don’t let anyone in until I give you the knock okay?” 

“I know.” I close the door after I give him his chips and wait for the door to lock. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get him I can’t leave him. I creep past my dad who’s back in his chair with the brown liquid and run outside. He couldn’t have gone far if he crawled away and he can’t walk yet so-

“You stayed still.” I exclaim in a whisper. When he sees me he stops crying and giggles stretching his hand out towards me to pick him up. Once in my arms we head back upstairs to Tooru when he lets us in. We sleep in the closet since it’s not safe to sleep in the open and rest for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About Tobio's mom and his condition; during the pregnancy I don't know what the English american term is but it's called a parasite pregnancy where the baby is killing the mother from the inside sometimes they live pass birth sometimes they don't. In her case she was able to pass that stage but she was too weak and ended up killing her later.


	3. Tooru's Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape is implied but not gone into detail.
> 
> The boys age:  
> Hajime: 7  
> Tooru: 6  
> Tobio: 3 then 4

For the life of me I have no idea why I have to go to school. Hajime-nii-san is not going back and Tobio’s barely left the closet unless dad’s not home. So why do I have to go, I already know Hajime's work.

“I’m not going!”

“Yes you are, this is not up for discussion, you need to go and get an education.” 

“Well you're not going back, what about your education?”

“I need to stay and watch Tobio. We can't both leave him unattended, it's not safe.”  
“Me sneaking out the house to go to school isn’t smart either. How we were able to get away with it before is beyond me but we shouldn’t risk it.” We’ve had this talk so many times it makes no sense that we keep going over it.

“Why does Tooru have to leaf again?”

“It ‘leave’ Tobio, honestly you’re an idiot.” I tease, what person doesn't know the difference between ‘leave’ and ‘leaf’. 

“You're the idiot, he got it from you. So don’t tease him about it. And Tooru has to leave because he needs to go to school for as long as possible.” He looks at me harshly before looking back at Tobio-chan with a soft smile. “Now tell Tooru-nii-san you’ll see him later when he comes back.”

Tobio runs up to me and hugs my legs (it’s all he can reach),“later Tooru-nii-san be safe.”

“I will, I’m not a dummy.” I chuckle sadly, maybe I’ll miss him a little more than I’m letting on but he doesn’t need to know that.

“You are the dummy, Dummykawa.”

“I thought it was Crappykawa?”

“Well when you act crappy I’ll call you ‘Crappykawa’, when you dumb I’ll call you Dummykawa.” He reaches his hand over and affectionately rubs my hair, and obviously I smack his hand away. “Alright you need to go or you’ll be late. Make sure you follow the path I showed you don’t stray from it and don’t get in trouble. I had to give them dad’s contacts so they would accept you,” he grabs my shoulders and stares at me intensely, “don’t give them a reason to call dad Tooru this is important tell me you understand.” 

“I understand Iwa-chan.” I always had from the times we had to pretend we were sleeping in bed, to hiding in the closet, even when mommy didn’t come home and we had to keep Tobio hidden from dad all these years I understood so, “please don’t worry about me, just focus on Tobio-chan I got this.” Or I had this. Everything was going fine for the first two semesters but when Parent-child picture day came and my dad didn’t show up they called him.

“I’m telling you Nyto-sensei it’s fine you don’t have to call my dad. He’s busy at work and he can’t come.”  
“Nonsense Oikawa-kun you're such a gorgeous boy, surely he can spare an hour to take a picture with his son before he has to go back to work.” She can’t call him. If she calls and he finds out it will all be because of me. 

“Nyto-sensei please don’t call him.” I beg.

“If it bothers you so much Oikawa-kun I won’t alright just head to lunch.” I sigh in relief. “Thank you sensei.” I heard her shoes clack in the other way toward our classroom. I’m glad she decided not to call.

As I walk home from school I see Iwa-chan pacing on the porch. “Hey Iwa, how was Tobio-chan to-” When he faces me his face is bruised; he has a black eye, swollen lips and small cuts on his face that are bleeding. “Wh-what happened to you? You need-” 

“No, you need to get to the closet. Your school called something about Parent-child picture day. I forgot about that. And dad picked up the phone before I could get to it and he left a while ago looking for you so you need to hurry and hide before he comes back.” He’s pushing me toward our hide closet. I try to fight against him but he won’t stop. 

“Don’t hide me, it will only make it worse. He already hit you, don't take anymore please.” I beg him. I can understand everything else but why he chooses to get beaten for us he can’t really think that I can let him do that.

“Hey it’s okay don’t worry about me until I’ve done everything I can, protect Tobio in that closet.” He offers me a smile, before I have the chance to return it I’m shove in the closet with Tobio.

“Nii-san, I thought the loud man was out there. Where’s Haji?” 

“He’s going to be our protector right now. So right now we need to play the quiet game again and not make a sound.” I push my finger on his lip and copies the same on mine. I give him a smile that I hope he can’t see through. We sit in silence until I hear the front door burst open and our dad yelling on the top of his lungs. Tobio whimpers at the sound, he hasn't seen our dad since he was 3 months so he remembers his voice and not the person; we intend to keep it that way. 

There’s banging, clanging and yelling but no pain screams yet. It’s Hajime trying to stop dad from coming upstairs and in the closet. It goes on for a while, then there’s grunts of pain, pleads to stop then the sound of something falling over then a thump of a body; Hajime’s body. His steps are getting louder and louder as he's checking rooms. Should I bring Tobio out and hide him somewhere else or should I-  
“There you are.” He looks at me viciously before he glances at the boy shaking in my hands.

“No. No he was dead, I killed him! Hajime kept him and hid him from me... how dare you?” I don’t even get a word in because when I open my mouth Tobio’s scream rings through my ears. He’s holding Tobio up by his arms despite his screaming and crying. 

“And your school called about Parent-child picture day. Funny,” he snorts. “I don’t remember signing you up for any school. Yet here I get a call from a Nyto-sensei saying that I have such a beautiful son. With such fair skin and beautiful chestnut brown hair to match such nice colored eyes. She told me what a shame it would be if I let today go to waste, so I won’t. I have a friend downstairs who won’t let your “beauty” go to waste.” He drags me up and down the stairs into the basement. 

I hear Tobio calling for Hajme and I. I try to get to him. I really do but a hand is snaked around me. From there I don’t remember if it was my screams I heard or Tobio’s, but when he’s back in our arms his pale skin is brushed black and blue so is Hajime; everyone seems to be painted in a different color except for me yet I still felt pain everywhere. Our dad told me I’d be going back to school tomorrow. We all cried that night for different reasons.


	4. Lilies and Chrysanthemums- The Gift of Tobio's Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lilies are the most well known “flower of sadness"
> 
> "Chrysanthemums are the restoration of joy to the soul"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd add a small chapter of Tobio's pov before alternating back between Tooru and Hajime.

I’m sad. Before when it was just us we got to play games in the little room and Haji brought me and Tooru food; we were happy. Then for a while Haji disappeared at the same time everyday but then I learned he was going to school and soon it would be Tooru’s turn; still we were happy. When it was his turn it didn’t go so well, and the loud man made him go back even though that’s what Hajime said to do anyway; things weren't so happy. Now things are bad, very bad; nobody is happy. Tooru goes to school but then the loud man takes him into the screaming room almost everyday. When he’s in there the loud man hits me and Haji (till he falls asleep). He tells me when that happens to go upstairs when the man leaves us alone. 

But I’m not today. Everyone that stays in this house is sad, it’s just something that happens. You walk in the house then poof you’re sad. I don’t wanna be sad anymore so I’m going outside. I’ve never been outside before so I have a plan. I’ll go out but only down the road because Tooru said there was a park we could play in. Then I’ll stay and play for a while and come back before Haji wakes up. I’ve already completed the first part but I’m lost. I don’t know what I did wrong but I’m lost. I continue to walk around until I bump into someone.

“I’m sorry-”

“Oh it’s okay, I wasn’t looking where I was going. I hope I didn’t hurt you or anything.” The taller boy helps me up off the ground before checking if I was hurt. He looks very nice, maybe he can be my first friend that would make me happy. He has gray hair and a dot on his cheek with a big smile or at least it was a smile until he looked at my arms.

“I did hurt you. I am so sorry.”

“That wasn’t you, that was the loud man, he’s very mean. He stomps around the house yelling like a monster.” I show my hands like claws. 

“That loud man, you mean your Tou-san?” 

“No, I don’t think he’s my Tou-san. What does a Tou-san do?” He looks at me silly but he tells me anyway. 

“A Tou-san is your dad, he takes care of you, they make sure you're safe, feed you, and they keep you happy.”

“Then you mean Haji. Oh speaking of Haji I have to go before he wakes up, but I’m lost. Do you think you can help me?” 

“Sure, do you know where you live?”

“By the park with the brown flowers.” He thinks about it but then he reaches for my hand with a smile.

“I know exactly where that is.”

“Thank you. My name is Tobio, what’s yours?”

“You can call me Suga.” I nod my head as we keep walking. The quietness is weird so I start humming the song Tooru has to sing for his classroom celebration and Suga hums with me.

“You know this song too?”

“Yeah I had to-” 

“Tobio!” I hear Hajime call me down the block before he races to me.

“Do you know how worried I was? Tooru said you weren’t upstairs and I checked the kitchen, basement and the backyard. I-I thought I lost you don’t you ever leave without letting me know first. And who are you?”

“This is my new friend.” I tell him with a smile.

“Sugawara Koushi.” 

“Yeah that’s nice, Tobio lets go.” Hajime takes my hand, leading us back to the house. 

“See you later, Suga.” I wave over my head. 

He waves back, “see you later Tobio.”

“Are you my Tou-san?”

“No, what makes you think that?” 

“Well my friend Suga said that it’s a person who takes care of you, they make sure you're safe, feed you, and they make you happy. And you do all of those things.” I hear him laugh softly be he says tells me:

“Did he also tell your Tou-san is your dad?”

“Yes.”

“And you know I am your brother, right? So I can’t be your dad.” I want to ask who his but I guess it’s best not to know. We keep walking until we’re back in front of our house; the one next to the park with the brown flowers, with the door that’s lost its color and the fence that looks like moving water. The house of sadness.

“Are you happy here?”

“I’m happy with you and Tooru.”

“But you're not happy here. This house is sad. When I was back there with Suga I was happy, he was kind and sweet.”  
“Are you saying you're not happy with your brothers?”

“I didn’t say that Haji, I said he made me happy but that was only because he was my friend.” Haji crouches down till’ we meet face to face, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Happiness doesn’t come from a place, it comes from the people you know. I am very glad you made a friend but I don't believe you can’t be happy with a person you met. Besides that don’t ever sneak out the house again, you could have gotten hurt. I love you too much to let that happen to you. So stay inside, stay quiet, and,” He pauses for me to finish.

“Stay hidden. I love you too Haji.” Together we walk back in the house. Right away Tooru attacks me with a hug then a flick on the forehead. Which kinda makes me confused if he's happy to see me or not, but the smile on his face says something different. I also see Suga a couple more times when he comes to our house and talks from the window because Nii-san says it’s okay. Tooru also talks to Suga, sometimes they talk about other things Tooru calls grown up talk, whatever that means. After that talk with Haji I felt the house change again, we smiled more and we all had a new friend; we’re happy again.


	5. A Celebration

I can’t believe how slow time seems to move only when I’m watching Tobio, and on my birthday of all days. When I could be outside talking to Kou-chan or reading this interesting book found on aliens, Hajime decides to sneak on a store run and leave me here with Tobio of all people. I never want to watch Tobio, what makes him think that I’d wanna to look after him on my birthday all day.

“Nii-san can you sing the song?”

“No go sit down somewhere,” the pest sits right next to me like it was an invitation.

“Somewhere else Tobio leave me alone.” 

“No I don’t want to. I want you to sing the alien song.” 

“I don’t care what you want it’s my birthday-”

Knock. Knock.

“Can you guys talk now?” 

“Kou-chan!”

“Suga-san you're here,” me and Tobio race to the door. Which is stupid he can barely reach door nob why is he trying to get in front of me? When I open the door Tobio still pushes me out the way to run into Koushi’s open arms. Giggling as he hauls him up in his arms.

“Suga-san today is Ru’s birthday!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? I think it’s cute Ru,” Koushi teases watching my cheeks burn red. Instead of standing in the doorway we sit on the creaky steps to the house and talk.

“Happy birthday Tooru, do you know when you're going to have your birthday party?”

“No does this family look like we celebrate birthdays or anything for that matter?” 

“Don’t listen to him Haji tells us stories at night about parties and- and,”

“That was before and you never even had a party so what would you know?” My words come out harsh but I don’t know any other way to put it, it’s not like I said anything wrong.

“You shouldn’t say that Tooru could hurt his feelings,” Suga scolds like a kind mother. That might be one of the reasons we like him so much; he reminds me of Tobio’s mom in some weird way but he doesn’t look like he’s slowly withering away. 

“Alright fine. Tobio-chan I’m sorry that you never had a birthday party or got to go to the ones we used to have.” I smile as I watch Tobio frown and tuck his head into Ko-chan’s shoulders.

“That's not how you apologize.”

“Well that's all the apology he’s going to get. It is not my fault what happened and I don't want to keep talking about this on my birthday so, let’s ditch Tobi and head to the park.” As I said before I don’t wanna spend the rest of my birthday babysitting such a pain. By now Tobio’s crying and Ko-chan’s doing his best to sooth his tears.

“Say your sorry the right way, you shouldn’t treat your brother that way he looks up to you.”

“Fine,” I sign. “Tobio-chan I’m sorry,very very sorry,” I say half-heartedly. It doesn't get past Koushi but Tobio looks at me with a wide smile.

“Really…”

“Sure he is and he’s willing to do anything to make you feel better.” 

“I am?”

“He is?”

“Of course he is why wouldn’t he?” Koushi arches his brow when Tobio’s not looking; if I wasn’t going to do it before the look he gave me changed my mind. To think I was going to give him the name Mr. Refreshing.

“Yes I am Tobio-chan, so tell me what is it you want me to do.” 

“Please Ru I want you to sing the alien song. Just once.” How could he? He betrayed me in front of Ko-chan.

“Alien song?”

“Yeah Ru has a song, he called it the alien song because he likes them a lot.”

“Fine, I'd like to hear this song to go ahead.” He motions for me to start.

“I come from outer space as an alien I can steal your face (piches Tobio’s cheeks) Out in the Milky way flying among the stars we come to take your planet and put you all to Mars (playful snatches Tobio out of Koushi’s arms) Unless we both agree, you and me we can be the best of alien friends.” Tobio giggles in my arms and claps at the end.

“Oh that was cute, why are you so afraid of singing that in front of me?”

“It’s embarrassing, me and Hajime made that up when he would cry so much.”

“Still it was sweet, now come let’s walk to the park,” Koushi holds his hand out for Tobio to grab and we head to the park. We spend most of the day and Iwa-chan meets us there later with candy and hostess cupcakes as a treat. And for the first time Tobio gets to go to his first birthday party.


	6. Monster

Today is a good day. Koushi’s outside with Tobio and Tooru. Dad’s nowhere to be seen and I can get a little of work done and time to myself. It’s weird the house is so quiet and I barely ever get a moment to myself. Koushi said it’s called ‘personal time’ and I nearly laughed when I heard the meaning. It was something totally normal for him; when things became too much he just took a break. It really showed the difference between us. Things were always too much and I always handled it, but apparently that is not how It’s supposed to be. Could have fooled me.

But long story short I’m alone, the house is clean and I have nothing to do. My brothers are my world, even if I can’t take my eyes off them for a minute. 

“What are you going to do with yourself Hajime.” It's an honest question I don’t ever find myself answering. But I guess time will tell. I follow our noisy steps upstairs and into my room. I don’t even remember the last time I slept in my room. It’s really not necessary anymore. Tobio outgrew his baby room so we don’t go there anymore and even if we did he refuses to step in there again. I wasn’t there for what happened there but from what Tooru told me it’s enough for me to be okay with it. 

Tooru’s room was safe. His room was covered in little trinkets and small beach items from our mom; it was the only one that showed signs of life. The other rooms are dust filled and old. Or they were before I cleaned them all. The only room left was mine. But that was a monster for another day. Koushi would probably kill me if he found out I nearly cleaned the entire house but it was relaxing. The only thing left to do now is to take a nap. I unfold the small futon in Tooru’s room and lay down. I can certainly get a few hours of sleep before-

“HAJIME,” Tobio’s pain filled voice fills the house only seconds later he’s barging in the room crying.

“Tobio? Tobio what’s going on?”

“The-the man he- Suga-san needs help.”

“Tobi, you need to calm down and tell me what happened.”

“The loud man saw us at the park. He’s hurting them,” Tobio wails, tugging on my hand. I allow him to guide me to the park.

“Let go of him,” Tooru shouts, pulling at our dad’s arm.

“Who the hell does this brat think he is taking my sons out of my house.” Koushi’s pale skin was bruised purple.

“Dad stop,” I yell before I can stop myself.

“Did you know about this? They snuck out didn’t they?” Crap.

“No dad, I told them to go, they just met him. We don’t know him,” I lie. He stares at me. His intense hazy stare burns my eyes. There’s crying from all around me; Koushi, Tooru and Tobio’s. I won’t join them.

“Is this true?” Our dad asks Koushi, I watch as his grip gets tighter on his wrist. The only thing that comes out his mouth are louder cries. “I asked you is he tellin’ the truth,” Dad josles him at an awkward angle and something snaps. His cries turn into screams. 

“We don’t know him,” Tooru shouts bravely through tears. I wish I could smack him for it.

“I didn’t ask you, I’m asking your little friend if Hajime is telling the truth or is he hiding something from me like he did with Tobio.” Even in danger and in pain Koushi still seems determined; he might even be foolish enough to tell the truth.

“I don’t know them,” he says in between sobs. So maybe he’s smarter than I thought. “I-I just met them today. That’s all.” He says sniffling.

“You’re lying.” That’s all he says before he says pushing him to the ground heading towards the entrance of the park. Tooru ran to Koushi in a panic; something was dangerously wrong with his arm. I couldn’t move to help him. This was my fault he was innocent in all of this. He didn’t deserve to be tainted by us. He was younger than me and in my brothers’ life so that meant he was important and I messed it up. I caused this because-

“TOBIO,” an agonized scream cuts my thoughts. I watch Koushi shake off Tooru and frantic eyes dart over the park.

“He’s gone,” he croaks scaredly. Yet oddly I feel a weird calmness; calm before a storm to be exact.

“Kou-chan please your arm you have to stay still-”

“Who cares about my arm what about Tobio he was right-”  
“He’s home,” I know he is. Dad wouldn’t have walked away without a plan. He’s like Tooru in that sense; smart.

“B-but how could you know that we didn’t see him-”

“We don’t need to. Our dad is gone isn’t he?” I point to the abandoned park. “He took him home and we’ll be next.” His face morphs into confusion, then Tooru whispers something in his ear. The truth probably. This is probably the only time when Tooru’s beauty won’t get him out of something. But that’s alright from his eyes I can see he’s already accepted it. The only thing left to do was to get Koushi to and send him home.

“We’ll be fine,” We won’t.

“I promise.” I’m lying.

“Just stay away for a while. 2 weeks is fine make sure to get your arm fixed.” Take us with you. Don’t leave us with him. Koushi looks like he’s about to say something but Tooru seems to have it covered.

“Don’t worry about us and try not to miss us too much when you get that cast.” We’re scared; we might die.

“Okay,” he says dejected and walks away without another word.

“Let’s go home Tooru,” my voice void of all the fear that I’m feeling. He lets out a soft hum and follows. We ran home without a second glance, it was already bad enough that Tobio was home alone but if we came home late that would only make it worse for the three of us and that was the last thing we needed.


End file.
